Establishing Boundaries

Supporting independence

Manage expectations

Rest

Support groups

Exercise

Ultimately, carers need to look after themselves first and foremost in order to be well equipped to care for someone else. As Helping Hands explains, “care work is immensely rewarding, but can also be stressful”. Engaging in some self-care is not selfish. It’s actually very beneficial to both you and the person you’re caring for.

This article has been submitted by one of our supporters, George E.

I have been based in Bristol for ten years now and unfortunately I have been struggling with serious mental health difficulties which has meant I am now back in Edinburgh, however I am slowly getting better. I have written this piece about that journey and how important finding a project is, no matter how small. In my case this was trying to find Scotch Bonnets in Edinburgh!

I think that the piece is honest, funny, sad and optimistic and I am trying to share it with as many people who might find it interesting or helpful as I know I would have done.

Anyone who knows anything about making Jerk knows that you have to use Scotch Bonnets. I’ve only made it a few times but I have eaten it a lot. There’s no other way. The difficulty is that in Edinburgh they are quite hard to find.

What I have found difficult is that I have been, on the whole, a very good patient. I didn’t really fancy being around anymore and so I called the Dr who immediately signed me off work and doubled my sertraline intake. I stopped drinking. I spoke to my friends and family and kept those closest to me up to date with how I was doing (I think that’s what they call a support network). I went to the gym everyday. I signed up to a boxing club and smashed out four one hour personal trainer sessions in two weeks. I even went to IKEA and bought a new duvet and pillow set and had meatballs. I went to a garden centre. I. Bought. Plants. I thought I was completely nailing it.

Three weeks in and I was spending some time alone. Two of my closest friends who are also my housemates were out of Bristol and I had from Thursday to Tuesday to keep nailing it until they came back. The problem was I did not nail it. Despite the really impressive scoring I had received which basically meant I was professionally depressed, I was told that the High Intensity 1:1 CBT that I needed was a six to nine month wait away. To be fair they did send me a link to an App called STAY ALIVE which was good of them. On the Thursday night I went to boxing and sweated out most of the overwhelming sense of hopelessness that I was continuously experiencing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get rid of it all. Instead I did classic mistake number one which was to turn to the numbing companion of Holsten Pils. To put it into perspective, I drank enough Holstein Pils to sit and watch three James Bond movies back to back without turning it off. I even think I enjoyed them but I can’t be sure. On the Friday I woke up and the date I was meant to be having was now cancelled. No fault of theirs but not great timing. Back to Holsten I went. This continued until Monday.

It’s a really surreal feeling to completely not care anymore. I did not want to be alive but I also did not want to achieve that aim myself as I know first hand the devastating effects that has on your family and friends, even people that kind of knew you or worked with you. The problem was that I felt that there was simply no point in carrying on. I won’t claim to be the first to say it, but the world is completely fucked. Systemically ruined and at a point where it seems nearly unfixable. I have worked tirelessly in sectors that try to fight against this, providing education, support and safety for those at the sharp end of cuts, exclusion and discrimination. The problem was that I just did not have the fight left in me anymore.

As I found out drinking loads of Holsten Pils doesn’t really change anything and you still end up waking up (At least I was lucky enough to). I sent a text to my Mum on the Monday morning, packed a bag of mainly unclean clothes and drove my beautiful fifteen year old Ford Transit van called Vinnie up to Edinburgh.  

On the Tuesday my parents suggested that we make Jerk Chicken at some point while I was there. I didn’t know how long I was going to be staying at home with them for because I couldn’t really plan past the day I was in. I don’t think they realised how weirdly important that was going to become for me or maybe they did and they are complete geniuses. It was a perfect plan because as we all know Scotch Bonnets are hard to come by in Edinburgh. The rest of the ingredients were easy. I was once again nailing it. Finding Tamarind Paste is no mean feat but I did and I did it well. I came back on the Tuesday, unloaded Vinnie and presented the ingredients that I had gathered. The thing was I couldn’t find any Scotch Bonnets and boy did I try. I explained this to them and they understood. 

On Wednesday I set out again. I had been googling where to find Scotch Bonnets and I had a couple of really promising leads. This lead me and Vinnie across the other side of Edinburgh, taking me through the area that I grew up in as a young child. Although I love a Google on this occasion it was wrong. There were no Scotch Bonnets. At the side of a park I used to cycle through I spoke to the GP who had been guiding me through these last few weeks. I explained my latest meltdown and how I had come up to Edinburgh and he told me it was the right thing to do and I agreed. He said that my high score of 27 wasn’t actually that futile as it might be less of a wait. He also told me to hold on in there, to keep doing what I was doing because the dose I was now taking takes six weeks to really kick in. He said that after that he hopes I would feel more stable. I didn’t mention to him that the thing getting me out of the house was a type of chilli because it seemed like a tough thing to get across on the phone. We agreed to talk in a weeks time and I went for a walk around the park then drove home. Of course I updated my parents when I got back. Firstly that I couldn’t find any Scotch Bonnets and then secondly about what the Dr had told me because that is the order of importance. 

At this point, its probably clear that this whole journey hasn’t really been about making Jerk Chicken or about the necessity of Scotch Bonnets in this process. It just so happens that Scotch Bonnets have taken on a centrality in my very slow recovery back to how I was – optimistic, ambitious for others and caring. I now realise that I needed a project. Anything to keep me going. Anything that had a clear, small, achievable objective that made me feel like there was an aim or a purpose. I now feel calmer than I have in a while. I might not even make the Jerk, who knows (I’m kidding of course I will it is delicious). The point is that if you are having what they call a complete and utter shitter and you don’t see a way out, try to find your Scotch Bonnet. Take your time finding it and keep moving forward and then once you have found it, plan what could be next. Who knows, in a weeks’ time you could be searching for black cardamon pods (Notoriously difficult to find). It doesn’t matter because it will be in a weeks’ time and that is progress in itself. 

 If you would like to share a story about your mental health, please get in touch – info@changesbristol.org

Join us: New nature connection and gardening project

Through running our Walk and Talk project over the last year, we have found that spending time in nature can improve our mental health. Through increased positive feelings of wellbeing, in turn we can help our natural environment thrive. Therefore, we’re delighted to announce that we will be opening a new project based around nature connection and gardening, giving you a chance to learn from your environment, grow food and find wellbeing outside.

When is this taking place?

Every Tuesday from 17th May
Running from 10.30am – 1.30pm
All equipment will be provided
We will be running our project, Keep Going Keep Growing at various sites in Bristol, mainly at the Wellspring Settlement in Barton Hill and Boiling Wells in St Werburghs

Anything else you need to know?

• No referral or formal diagnosis required
• Adults only – you need to be over 18 to attend
• Advance booking needed – details & session location will be shared in advance
• Free to attend you don’t need to pay anything

What will we be doing?

We will combine nature connection and wellbeing practices, mindfulness, creative craftwork with gardening and growing food. Sessions will be based around the 5 pathways to nature connection:

1. Contact
The act of engaging with nature through the senses for pleasure e.g. listening to birdsong, smelling wild flowers, watching the sunset.

2. Beauty
Engagement with the aesthetic qualities of nature, e.g. appreciating natural scenery or engaging with nature through the arts.

3. Meaning
Using nature or natural symbolism (e.g. language and metaphors) to represent an idea, thinking about the meaning of nature and signs of nature, e.g. the first swallow of summer.

4. Emotion
An emotional bond with, and love for nature e.g. talking about, and reflecting on your feelings about nature.

5. Compassion
Extending the self to include nature, leading to a moral and ethical concern for nature e.g. making ethical product choices, being concerned with animal welfare.

We will combine these pathways together with the 5 ways to wellbeing, find out more about this set of ideas to make improvements on your life here.

Through connecting with nature, some benefits to your wellbeing may include reducing stress, improving creativity, reducing anxiety, better sleep, growing food, learning simple wellbeing practices and connecting with others.

Keep Going Keep Growing will be run by our Project Workers, Jen Witts and Charlie Baxter.

Email – growing@changesbristol.org

Telephone – 0141 536 0920

You may have seen Jen at one of our peer support groups. As well as running meetings, she also has many years experience facilitating groups outside, focussed on promoting wellbeing and connecting with nature. Jen believes passionately in the ability of nature to transform our connection to ourselves, our land and our communities in a physical, emotional and spiritual sense. She’s looking forward to exploring all of the ways to connect together and with nature with this group!

Bristol Befriending Week – 25th – 30th April

It has been two years since we started our telephone befriending service with the expectation of helping 20-25 people during lockdown. Since those naïve days this service has grown and grown, to date supporting 164 individuals (3322 befriending hours). Of this number, 109 members no longer require this service and are able to support their mental wellbeing independently or through attending Changes Bristol peer support groups.

Befriending is a free one-to-one service which is available to anyone who lives in Bristol, contact befriending@changesbristol.org to find out more.

Join our new campaign launching from the 25th – 30th April – Bristol Befriending Week. During this time we will be celebrating friendship, community and connecting with others.

A friendship that has meant a lot to you

We’ve been asking some of our friends to tell us their stories about a connection that has meant a lot to them. This could be a family member, friend or someone that they hardly know. You might recognise some of the faces on our video, we’ve been speaking to all sorts of Bristolians including Donna Speed, CEO of We The Curious; Prince Taylor, Trustee at the Arnolfini; Councillor Lorraine Francis, of Eastville ward; Joanna Holmes, CEO of the Wellspring Settlement and George Friend, digital creator and fashion influencer. We’re asking everyone to take a moment to think about a connection that has meant a lot to them.

Changes Bristol social event

The team at Changes will be running a social event on Friday 29th April from 12pm – 5pm at Eastville Park. This is free to attend and we will have some snacks and drinks available which have been donated by Asda Patchway but we recommend bringing your own lunch and a bottle of water. If you prefer to sit on a blanket rather than the grass, please bring one along as well as any games – we’re hoping to get a couple of teams for a rounders tournament. 

We will have our Changes Bristol gazebo set up on the top field in front of the basketball court, so you should find us there. 

Mental Health resources across our community

We recognise that most people would use a range of services to improve their mental wellbeing and make positive changes to their lives. We’ve added a list of charities and community groups in and around Bristol, as well as nationwide. 

Guest writer: Olivia W

Did you know that over the past week, 1 in every 6 people that you know will have experienced a mental health problem? In fact, poor mental health is one of the biggest crises that we face today with the recent pandemic causing a rising number of people to suffer. 

While the phrase therapy and drug treatments are popular options for people who experience negative mental health, looking after your body is also a great way to ensure that your mind stays in good shape! The importance of understanding the connection between physical and mental health is vital, as our bodies and minds are much closer connected than you may think. 

Here are some ways that you can look after your body to improve your mental health.

Partaking in regular exercise 

Exercise has a number of benefits for your mental health. As a result, it is recommended that adults get around 150 (2.5 hours) of moderate exercise every single week. 

When you exercise, your body releases endorphins which are known as the body’s natural pain killers. Endorphins work to relieve stress and improve people’s mood which can do excellent things for your mental health!

While vigorous exercise has its benefits, you don’t have to exhaust yourself in order to feel the effects of movement. A simple walk, swim or even a dance in your kitchen can trigger endorphin release and help improve your overall mental health.

Having a Balanced Diet 

They say you are what you eat, and this is somewhat true when it comes to your mental health. Not only does food help you feel good physically, it also plays a huge role in your overall mood. With the right diet, you can feel happier, calmer, and more energised. In fact, eating a healthy, balanced diet can help stabilise your mood and reduce fluctuations throughout the day.

Choosing Foods That Release Serotonin 

If feeling good is your goal, there are a variety of foods that can help to boost your mood and lift your spirits. One of the best is fatty fish which is full of Omega-3 and proven to reduce levels of depression. 

Eating well doesn’t just mean eating meat and vegetables. Eating sweet treats every now and then can also help lift your mood. In particular, chocolate is an excellent source of quick carbohydrates that can give your brain a boost if you’re feeling low throughout the day. 

Chose Foods for brain functioning 

Unsurprisingly, foods that contain caffeine can be great for brain functioning. Therefore, a daily cup of coffee in moderation may be just what you need for your daily boost! Caffeine is a stimulant that can help you to stay energised and improve concentration. However, too much caffeine can be detrimental for your mental health so try not to go overboard!

If caffeine isn’t your thing, peanuts are also a great source of fuel that can keep you feeling energised throughout the day. Nuts are an excellent source of protein and healthy fats that will help to keep your brain functioning well during the way.

Drink Responsibly & Sensibly 

It’s no secret that too much alcohol can damage your body, but did you know that it can also cause harm to your mental health? Excessive drinking can interfere with chemicals in the brain that are vital for good mental health. In fact, drinking too much on a regular basis has been linked with increased chances of developing depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns. 

Try to avoid drinking more than you need to. Perhaps just save the alcohol for special occasions or, when you do drink, know your limits! It is recommended that you drink no more than 14 units of alcohol per week. That’s around 6 medium glasses of wine or 6 pints of beer.

Take Rest Days to De-stress

Resting due to physical impairment is the norm however, too many people forget to do the same for their mental health. In order to minimise stress and maintain good mental health, it’s important that you take regular breaks from elements of your life that may cause you stress. 

Having the occasional day off from work or taking a vacation every summer can be extremely beneficial for your mental wellbeing. You should also try to clear at least 1 hour per day in which you can unwind, relax, and focus on yourself. It’s surprising how beneficial 1 hour of stress-free time can have for your mind! 

By Olivia W

Changes Bristol is a mental health charity which offers peer support groups, a walk and talk service in Bristol and telephone befriending for one-to-one support. The charity services are free, available to anyone over 18 and you don’t need a diagnosis or GP referral to join. Find out more here.

 If you’re interested in finding out more about Changes Bristol’s services, please get in touch – info@changesbristol.org

Join us – International Women’s Day online event

The 8th of March is International Women’s Day! 

We will be marking the occasion by holding an International Women’s Day peer support workshop, available for anyone who is over 18 and identifies as women. During the workshop, there will be a short talk on how peer support works and why it is so powerful to create safe spaces for women to share and empower one another, followed by an interactive discussion and creative writing activities based around women’s mental health and wellbeing. 

If you’re a Changes Bristol member, why not bring a friend along to learn more about our groups? 

Key Details

When – Tuesday 8th March
Time – 10am – 12pm
Where – held online via Zoom – contact us for the link

This is a FREE online event for anyone who identifies as a woman. If you’d like to join us, please email service@changesbristol.org for the Zoom link.