Establishing Boundaries

Supporting independence

Manage expectations

Rest

Support groups

Exercise

Ultimately, carers need to look after themselves first and foremost in order to be well equipped to care for someone else. As Helping Hands explains, “care work is immensely rewarding, but can also be stressful”. Engaging in some self-care is not selfish. It’s actually very beneficial to both you and the person you’re caring for.

This article has been submitted by one of our supporters, George E.

I have been based in Bristol for ten years now and unfortunately I have been struggling with serious mental health difficulties which has meant I am now back in Edinburgh, however I am slowly getting better. I have written this piece about that journey and how important finding a project is, no matter how small. In my case this was trying to find Scotch Bonnets in Edinburgh!

I think that the piece is honest, funny, sad and optimistic and I am trying to share it with as many people who might find it interesting or helpful as I know I would have done.

Anyone who knows anything about making Jerk knows that you have to use Scotch Bonnets. I’ve only made it a few times but I have eaten it a lot. There’s no other way. The difficulty is that in Edinburgh they are quite hard to find.

What I have found difficult is that I have been, on the whole, a very good patient. I didn’t really fancy being around anymore and so I called the Dr who immediately signed me off work and doubled my sertraline intake. I stopped drinking. I spoke to my friends and family and kept those closest to me up to date with how I was doing (I think that’s what they call a support network). I went to the gym everyday. I signed up to a boxing club and smashed out four one hour personal trainer sessions in two weeks. I even went to IKEA and bought a new duvet and pillow set and had meatballs. I went to a garden centre. I. Bought. Plants. I thought I was completely nailing it.

Three weeks in and I was spending some time alone. Two of my closest friends who are also my housemates were out of Bristol and I had from Thursday to Tuesday to keep nailing it until they came back. The problem was I did not nail it. Despite the really impressive scoring I had received which basically meant I was professionally depressed, I was told that the High Intensity 1:1 CBT that I needed was a six to nine month wait away. To be fair they did send me a link to an App called STAY ALIVE which was good of them. On the Thursday night I went to boxing and sweated out most of the overwhelming sense of hopelessness that I was continuously experiencing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get rid of it all. Instead I did classic mistake number one which was to turn to the numbing companion of Holsten Pils. To put it into perspective, I drank enough Holstein Pils to sit and watch three James Bond movies back to back without turning it off. I even think I enjoyed them but I can’t be sure. On the Friday I woke up and the date I was meant to be having was now cancelled. No fault of theirs but not great timing. Back to Holsten I went. This continued until Monday.

It’s a really surreal feeling to completely not care anymore. I did not want to be alive but I also did not want to achieve that aim myself as I know first hand the devastating effects that has on your family and friends, even people that kind of knew you or worked with you. The problem was that I felt that there was simply no point in carrying on. I won’t claim to be the first to say it, but the world is completely fucked. Systemically ruined and at a point where it seems nearly unfixable. I have worked tirelessly in sectors that try to fight against this, providing education, support and safety for those at the sharp end of cuts, exclusion and discrimination. The problem was that I just did not have the fight left in me anymore.

As I found out drinking loads of Holsten Pils doesn’t really change anything and you still end up waking up (At least I was lucky enough to). I sent a text to my Mum on the Monday morning, packed a bag of mainly unclean clothes and drove my beautiful fifteen year old Ford Transit van called Vinnie up to Edinburgh.  

On the Tuesday my parents suggested that we make Jerk Chicken at some point while I was there. I didn’t know how long I was going to be staying at home with them for because I couldn’t really plan past the day I was in. I don’t think they realised how weirdly important that was going to become for me or maybe they did and they are complete geniuses. It was a perfect plan because as we all know Scotch Bonnets are hard to come by in Edinburgh. The rest of the ingredients were easy. I was once again nailing it. Finding Tamarind Paste is no mean feat but I did and I did it well. I came back on the Tuesday, unloaded Vinnie and presented the ingredients that I had gathered. The thing was I couldn’t find any Scotch Bonnets and boy did I try. I explained this to them and they understood. 

On Wednesday I set out again. I had been googling where to find Scotch Bonnets and I had a couple of really promising leads. This lead me and Vinnie across the other side of Edinburgh, taking me through the area that I grew up in as a young child. Although I love a Google on this occasion it was wrong. There were no Scotch Bonnets. At the side of a park I used to cycle through I spoke to the GP who had been guiding me through these last few weeks. I explained my latest meltdown and how I had come up to Edinburgh and he told me it was the right thing to do and I agreed. He said that my high score of 27 wasn’t actually that futile as it might be less of a wait. He also told me to hold on in there, to keep doing what I was doing because the dose I was now taking takes six weeks to really kick in. He said that after that he hopes I would feel more stable. I didn’t mention to him that the thing getting me out of the house was a type of chilli because it seemed like a tough thing to get across on the phone. We agreed to talk in a weeks time and I went for a walk around the park then drove home. Of course I updated my parents when I got back. Firstly that I couldn’t find any Scotch Bonnets and then secondly about what the Dr had told me because that is the order of importance. 

At this point, its probably clear that this whole journey hasn’t really been about making Jerk Chicken or about the necessity of Scotch Bonnets in this process. It just so happens that Scotch Bonnets have taken on a centrality in my very slow recovery back to how I was – optimistic, ambitious for others and caring. I now realise that I needed a project. Anything to keep me going. Anything that had a clear, small, achievable objective that made me feel like there was an aim or a purpose. I now feel calmer than I have in a while. I might not even make the Jerk, who knows (I’m kidding of course I will it is delicious). The point is that if you are having what they call a complete and utter shitter and you don’t see a way out, try to find your Scotch Bonnet. Take your time finding it and keep moving forward and then once you have found it, plan what could be next. Who knows, in a weeks’ time you could be searching for black cardamon pods (Notoriously difficult to find). It doesn’t matter because it will be in a weeks’ time and that is progress in itself. 

 If you would like to share a story about your mental health, please get in touch – info@changesbristol.org

Guest writer: Olivia W

Did you know that over the past week, 1 in every 6 people that you know will have experienced a mental health problem? In fact, poor mental health is one of the biggest crises that we face today with the recent pandemic causing a rising number of people to suffer. 

While the phrase therapy and drug treatments are popular options for people who experience negative mental health, looking after your body is also a great way to ensure that your mind stays in good shape! The importance of understanding the connection between physical and mental health is vital, as our bodies and minds are much closer connected than you may think. 

Here are some ways that you can look after your body to improve your mental health.

Partaking in regular exercise 

Exercise has a number of benefits for your mental health. As a result, it is recommended that adults get around 150 (2.5 hours) of moderate exercise every single week. 

When you exercise, your body releases endorphins which are known as the body’s natural pain killers. Endorphins work to relieve stress and improve people’s mood which can do excellent things for your mental health!

While vigorous exercise has its benefits, you don’t have to exhaust yourself in order to feel the effects of movement. A simple walk, swim or even a dance in your kitchen can trigger endorphin release and help improve your overall mental health.

Having a Balanced Diet 

They say you are what you eat, and this is somewhat true when it comes to your mental health. Not only does food help you feel good physically, it also plays a huge role in your overall mood. With the right diet, you can feel happier, calmer, and more energised. In fact, eating a healthy, balanced diet can help stabilise your mood and reduce fluctuations throughout the day.

Choosing Foods That Release Serotonin 

If feeling good is your goal, there are a variety of foods that can help to boost your mood and lift your spirits. One of the best is fatty fish which is full of Omega-3 and proven to reduce levels of depression. 

Eating well doesn’t just mean eating meat and vegetables. Eating sweet treats every now and then can also help lift your mood. In particular, chocolate is an excellent source of quick carbohydrates that can give your brain a boost if you’re feeling low throughout the day. 

Chose Foods for brain functioning 

Unsurprisingly, foods that contain caffeine can be great for brain functioning. Therefore, a daily cup of coffee in moderation may be just what you need for your daily boost! Caffeine is a stimulant that can help you to stay energised and improve concentration. However, too much caffeine can be detrimental for your mental health so try not to go overboard!

If caffeine isn’t your thing, peanuts are also a great source of fuel that can keep you feeling energised throughout the day. Nuts are an excellent source of protein and healthy fats that will help to keep your brain functioning well during the way.

Drink Responsibly & Sensibly 

It’s no secret that too much alcohol can damage your body, but did you know that it can also cause harm to your mental health? Excessive drinking can interfere with chemicals in the brain that are vital for good mental health. In fact, drinking too much on a regular basis has been linked with increased chances of developing depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns. 

Try to avoid drinking more than you need to. Perhaps just save the alcohol for special occasions or, when you do drink, know your limits! It is recommended that you drink no more than 14 units of alcohol per week. That’s around 6 medium glasses of wine or 6 pints of beer.

Take Rest Days to De-stress

Resting due to physical impairment is the norm however, too many people forget to do the same for their mental health. In order to minimise stress and maintain good mental health, it’s important that you take regular breaks from elements of your life that may cause you stress. 

Having the occasional day off from work or taking a vacation every summer can be extremely beneficial for your mental wellbeing. You should also try to clear at least 1 hour per day in which you can unwind, relax, and focus on yourself. It’s surprising how beneficial 1 hour of stress-free time can have for your mind! 

By Olivia W

Changes Bristol is a mental health charity which offers peer support groups, a walk and talk service in Bristol and telephone befriending for one-to-one support. The charity services are free, available to anyone over 18 and you don’t need a diagnosis or GP referral to join. Find out more here.

 If you’re interested in finding out more about Changes Bristol’s services, please get in touch – info@changesbristol.org

Exhibition on Nature

We are enjoying the awesome power of nature through a series of photography walks. Here we celebrate our photographers talents with a gallery exhibiting their incredible images. These will be added to as the series continues, to view the seasonal transformation within this gallery space.

If you’re a Changes Bristol member and would like to connect with nature and find out more about our free photography walks, please contact befriending@changesbristol.org

Spring Photography Walk

Alessandra

Hannah

Lindsey

Shona

Meg

[Article written by Dorothy W]

Ideas for improving your life – Dorothy W

Look, life is short. Time flies by when you’re not watching, and the last thing you want is to look back on your life with regret. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed and savoured – but do you often feel like life is getting the better of you? If so, think about actively changing your outlook and habits.

If you’re on the lookout for a happier, more fulfilling life, keep reading. Here, a Changes Bristol supporter Dorothy, shares ideas on improving your tomorrow.

Start Something Today

Ever waited till Monday to get that perfect diet and exercise routine going? Perhaps you think you’ll pick up that skill you’ve always wanted to learn when you get more time. Guess what? That perfect day and time will never entirely present itself to you in the way you want. Life will always get in the way, and that ideal job or enough money will always seem a stone’s throw away. Instead, the best time to start is now – even if it’s in a small way.

Compare Yourself to Yourself rather than others

Comparing yourself to others can cause a huge amount of harm, increasing stress, anxiety and low self-esteem. The more you compare yourself to others, the more you’ll be stuck on that endless treadmill. Warren Buffet speaks to the importance of having an inner scorecard rather than an external one. You should be comparing yourself to younger you – the ‘you’ from five years ago or even three months ago. By doing this, you’ll also start celebrating the little wins and recognize how far you’ve come.

If you suffer from anxiety, you know how all-consuming it can be. Once in a while, it’s essential to sit down and have a long hard think about our life. Is it going the way we want? How can we improve? How can we make ourselves happier? The more you ponder over your past, present, and future, the higher the chances of taking the extra step to improve your everyday life. However, anxious thoughts get in the way of life better lived, so controlling symptoms is crucial to mastery of life. 

By Dorothy W

Changes Bristol is a mental health charity which offers peer support groups, a walk and talk service in Bristol and telephone befriending for one-to-one support. The charity services are free, available to anyone over 18 and you don’t need a diagnosis or GP referral to join. Find out more here.

 If you’re interested in finding out more about Changes Bristol’s services, please get in touch – info@changesbristol.org

Since the pandemic began, many of us have been consuming more news. This could be from a range of platforms, including watching/reading the news directly, your social media feed or word of mouth from people around you. 

It can be important for people to feel that they’re up to date on current affairs. At the moment it’s crucial to be aware of any changes in government guidelines but can also be empowering for having a general awareness for social discussions on hot topics and improve how you connect with your community. 

However, on the flip side, continuous drip-feed of negative news can be really destructive and can create reactions such as feelings of anxiety, helplessness, anger, confusion and sadness. 

One common link to an increased intake of negative news can come from “doom scrolling” – an obsessive, prolonged scrolling through bad news. This could lead to people feeling guilty, afraid or angry at the world around them and would in turn have an impact on your own personal mental health. 

This problem is worldwide, in Russia, almost 24,000 people responded to a survey on news consumption about Covid-19 and the results showed that the more time people spent scrolling through coronavirus-related content, the more anxious they were, even when their usual anxiety levels were taken into account. 

Doom scrolling and increased intake of negative news could also lead to hopelessness, apathy or a shutdown of emotional connection. Many people report compassion fatigue, which is the emotional and physical exhaustion experienced due to witnessing prolonged trauma or working with victims of trauma and suffering. This can relate to constant absorption of bad news, leaving you in a state where you feel hopeless, with nothing that you do mattering anymore. 

If you’re finding it hard to disconnect from the media, feeling overwhelmed by bad news or don’t know how to stop scrolling, here’s some helpful tips:

Knowing when to switch off

If you’re checking the news, set yourself a single time of day to catch up. This could be in the morning as you’re getting ready for the day, after work or in the evening after dinner. 

Track how much you’re scrolling through social media and set yourself a challenge to spend less time on these channels. You could set yourself a timer and switch off once the alarm is set. 

Establish times to switch off completely. Set a time to put your phone aside in the evening and keep it in another room to prevent temptation. Replace the time when you would be looking at your feed with another activity, if you’re out and about, consider taking a book with you or playing a game on your phone. 

Accept your level of control

Set yourself boundaries and an understanding of what you have control over. Learn that in many situations within the media, we don’t individually have any control. You can also reflect this by making small changes in aspects of your life / the world that means a lot to you on an individual level. For example, if you’re worried about the climate crisis, consider small differences such as using less plastic, eating less meat or cutting your energy usage. There are some great tips on Bristol City Council’s energy website.

It’s also important to take into consideration fake news and misinformation. Consume information from a variety of sources in order to have a balanced understanding of the world around you. 

Self care

Remember to spend at least 15 minutes per day on a self-care activity away from media channels. This could include cooking yourself some delicious food, tidying the space that you live in or taking some meditative time out for relaxation. You can find out more about self care tips in our article on the 5 ways to wellbeing.

Connect with friends and loved ones and set some boundaries within these conversations so that topics around politics, current affairs and the news are not spoken about. 

If you’re feeling like negative news is affecting your mental health, our services are free, available to anyone over 18 and you can join us as soon as you sign up. We offer peer support groups, a walk and talk service in Bristol and telephone befriending for one-to-one support. Find out more here.

These are spaces where you are welcome to speak about anything that you are going through, including any worries or anxieties that you may have around the news.

Messages of Gratitude

This year we were proud to be nominated as chosen partner charity with St Mary Redcliffe for Treefest. This 4-day event celebrated both the festive season and the local community, with and exhibition of 50 Christmas trees donated by Bristol based organisations, charities and community groups. The church had over 2,000 people in attendance over the 4-day event with entertainment from a variety of choirs.

Ours was a Gratitude Tree, which offered an opportunity for people to share what they’re grateful for and get involved with dressing our tree by adding messages of thanks as decoration. We were delighted to see so many people of all ages get involved and wanted to use this space to celebrate the messages added. Huge thank you to everyone who came along to Treefest and shared what they’re grateful for.

Exhibition on Nature

We are enjoying the awesome power of nature through a series of photography walks. Here we celebrate our photographers talents with a gallery exhibiting their incredible images. These will be added to as the series continues, to view the seasonal transformation within this gallery space.

If you’re a Changes Bristol member and would like to connect with nature and find out more about our free photography walks, please contact befriending@changesbristol.org

Autumn Photography Walk

Sophie 

Alessandra

Lindsey

Hannah

Chloe